Honor – Brooke Allen

What it feels like to write a holiday letter after a divorce.

Dear Friend,

I married Eve in 1986, and every December we’d write a holiday letter to our dearest friends. It was a good way to say, “even if we hadn’t talked all year, we still thought of you.”

As we got older, the ritual took on a second purpose. Every so often a card came back stamped UNKNOWN AT THIS ADDRESS. We’d google the name and, more often than we liked, find an obituary.

2023 was the first year we didn’t send anything. We had decided to divorce and didn’t know what to say to the people who didn’t already know. The divorce was final in May, 2024 and the house was sold in June.

I still wanted to send you something. I had a new address, and mail forwarding would end soon. I’d grown a beard—enough of a change that I wanted you to recognize me if we crossed paths. Mostly, though, I wanted you to know I was still here.

But I didn’t know what to write, so I didn’t write anything.

This year I promised myself I would write for sure23. After all, if you sent us a Christmas card this year to our old address it will be retuned because mail forwarding has expired.

But what shall I write?

This morning I woke up with the answer: I’m going to tell you what it feels like to write a holiday letter after a divorce. Here goes.