Vacation like a Burner

Don’t go to Burning Man.
Go somewhere else and tell everyone you’d rather be at Burning Man.

Since 2009, each year I’ve done one of three things: 

  • Gone on a cruise
  • Gone to Edinburgh for the Fringe 
  • Gone to Burning Man

Let me begin with cruising because that’s what most people think they understand the best. 

Turtles live in a house only slightly bigger than they are.

Decide for yourself if you want to go on a cruise 

Going on a cruise is living like a sea turtle. First you check into a room that is only slightly bigger than you are. Then your new home and you lumber around the ocean looking for something to do as you forage for food. 

Finally, by some mysterious mechanism, you manage to find your way back to exactly where you started so you can feel like your life is going nowhere.

In short, a cruise is a vacation from ambition and responsibility.

If you’ve seen an ad for a cruise and then go on one, I can guarantee nothing will surprise you (except the fact that only the cabin attendants and stage performers are as fit as the cruisers in the ads). Cruising can be very affordable if you can avoid the casino, the art auctions, the bars and all the other contrivances they have for separating you from your money. 

As you can see, I can disparage cruises with as much gusto as any comedian who refers to them as “floating petri dishes.” 

My only credibility problem is that I’ve been on 24 cruises over the decades so clearly I think they have something going for them.

Two pages of the 452 total in the catalog of shows from the 2018 Edinburgh Fringe

Definitely go to the Edinburgh Fringe

Unlike cruising, you might not have heard of the Edinburgh Fringe unless you live in Great Britain. The Fringe promotes itself as “the world’s largest open access arts festival.”

“World’s largest” means that this year (2022) 49,827 artists from 58 nations will be performing in 3,478 shows across more than 300 venues citywide between the 5th and the 29th of August. If you click on this link while the Fringe is on, you can see a list of this year’s shows.

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